By: Carmen-Marie Payne


As children, my brother and I would look at the moon. Upon close inspection we saw clearly the shape of a man’s face looking back at us. We were children with vivid imaginations but, I still maintain, we weren’t crazy: even today I still see the face of ‘the man on the moon’. This man played a significant role in our youth and after some discussion of the matter we came to the following conclusion: this was actually the face of Jesus, watching us from Heaven through His peep hole which appeared to us as the moon.

I even went as far as saying that we were like Jesus’ Barbie dolls (I was at that stage of my childhood where nothing was cooler than Barbie) and every night He would check on us to make sure that we were all safe and happy. We could still see the moon early in the morning which meant that Jesus was checking up on us every morning too.

There was, however, one thing that bugged me. Why would Jesus watch us through such a small peep hole? The peep hole just didn’t seem big enough for Jesus to watch and guide everyone at the same time.

Naturally, my brother and I grew up and learnt that the moon was in fact just the moon. Jesus didn’t have a peep hole through which He watched us; He didn’t need one because He already had a full view on our lives at all times.

Time passed and things changed, change is inevitable as we all know. My brother moved out to go live with my father and I stayed home with my mother. No one wishes to grow up in a broken home, but I like to focus on the good that came out of the situation.

My brother became one of my best friends. We grew so close that we trusted each other with anything and everything. God truly blessed me with a remarkable big brother. Our relationship reminds me of a saying that goes, “You are my brother out of blood but you are my friend out of love”.

My brother and I always wanted the best for each other. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for him and I know that he will always be there for me, as he promised me so many times before. Not many siblings can say that they had such a strong bond with their brother or sister from a young age. I am truly grateful for the time I got to spend with him.

For there to be a rainbow, there first has to be rain. Last year my brother, Jaryd, did a catamaran delivery to Thailand and is yet to return. He is currently M.I.A. and we have no details or knowledge of where he is or could be.

Not being able to see him has been the most difficult and painful obstacle that I have had to face. The news was unbelievable, one day my brother is fine and the next he’s missing at sea.

In the midst of this tragic event, God carries me every day and my heart has found comfort and strength due to His unending love and grace for His children.

I look back at the moon and am reminded about my childhood days with my brother. How we discussed Jesus looking out for us through His peep hole. This led to my own realization: I was so anguished as a child about Jesus not being able to see everyone and everything through His “moon”, I realised that I am in fact the one looking at life with the peep-hole vision. All I can see is the ‘now’, what is directly in front of me. All I can see is the pain and uncertainty of not having my brother near me. God though has a view of my entire life. He knows what my future looks like and He promises that it will be great. God has a perfect plan for each and every one of our lives. He knows why certain things happen and He has a reason behind them.

It may not seem perfect now, but it will be perfect. God’s plan goes beyond our time on earth. He knows what the future for our lives holds, including our eternal life with Him in heaven.

As much as I want to know where my brother is, God knows where he is. He knows exactly where everyone is. I do not yet know of the amazing things that God has in store for my brother, for me and for all my loved ones. In time God will reveal why certain things had to happen in our lives, but we have to trust God to teach us how to dance in the rain while waiting for the rainbow.

God has taught me many valuable things through this event and although it can be extremely difficult at times, we need to give God complete control over our lives. I try to do this every day and it is a challenge. As humans we want to know where everyone is, what they are doing, what they plan to do with their lives and all those other trivial things.

The truth is, even if we know the answer to those questions, it won’t change the path that God has set out for our lives. Our lives are safest and happiest in the hands of God. As much as we want to have control over our lives and direct ourselves in the direction which seems most pleasing to ourselves, we need to understand that we will only feel completely joyful and content when God is steering us in His direction, we just need to give him the wheel.

The moon brings such lovely memories to my mind. It reminds me of my childhood and time spent with my brother, it reminds me of how awesome our God is that He watches over us all the time and loves us unconditionally, and He has since the beginning of time. Finally it reminds me that I only see my life through a peep hole so I must just keep dancing in faith until God brings the rainbow because His promises are true and there are still great things in store for each and every one of us.


“For we live by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7